12 MATT SPROUTS AND THE CURSE OF THE TEN BROKEN TOES I got really into it and I ran and grabbed my stuffed animals from the bedroom during the commercial For the rest of the show my teddy bears and stuffed giraffe served as excellent punching bags By the time my parents woke up they found a war zone of beaten toys spilled cereal bowls and a torn couch It was a massacre Mom went ballistic Matt What in the world happened in here She was standing in her robe with her empty coffee mug What is that Did you stab your stuffed bear with a spoon And why does the couch look crooked MATT Mom always lectures me about staying off the furniture but she never understands the importance of practice How was I supposed to master a flying roundhouse kick without without jumping off the couch That's impossible Moms never understand She huffed her final assault Your father and I have to run into town this morning so before you go to the Monklings Monklings house next door this needs to be picked up or you'll spend the entire weekend in your room Is that understood Sure whatever I mumbled and removed the spoon from the bear's chest But as soon as Mom and Dad left I skipped cleanup and knocked on Eric Monkling's door instead instead He answered in his pajamas Hey Eric I said Guess I'm at your house this morning morning while my parents are gone Put some shoes on and get out here It's the first day of summer vacation and there's no time to waste
KARATE MOVES 13 His eyes were barely open Mmmm okay he grumbled Despite his lack of energy he put on his shoes and followed me out the door No kid could resist an invitation to play outside even at 8:00 in the morning Eric is part of the Monkling family who lives next door He is a grade older than me and shares my love for karate ninjas and soccer He's not as skilled as I am I'm practically an expert at everything but we have a good time together and he's my best friend Eric and I were going to build a mud house in the creek out back but we were interrupted by an unstoppable force Hey guys What are you doing Jenna asked us from over the fence Ugh Jenna Eric's younger sister She is a royal pain in the butt She is a grade below me but acts like we are best friends and trails me everywhere I said What are you doing she repeated None of your business Eric and I said together Jenna ignored our obvious get-lost hint Let's play tag C'mon Jenna you always say that Go play tag with yourself I insisted and threw some mud in her direction yourself But I want to play NOW she screamed She shook the fence like a toddler in a playpen and began her usual assault of tears and screams It took a full hour of screaming but she finally got her way Since we didn't want to be the only ones suffering we forced my brother Elliott and Eric's younger brother Kyle to play tag too
14 MATT SPROUTS AND THE CURSE OF THE TEN BROKEN TOES We can do whatever we want Kyle yelled You can't make me play with you Sure I can Eric said and pinned Kyle down to the ground Here comes a big wet one Eric dunked his finger into his mouth and aimed it for Kyle's ear Okay okay okay We'll play Kyle pleaded He never really stood a chance against Eric Kyle was tiny for a third grader and spent most of his time drawing He was pretty good at it too Unfortunately for Kyle drawing all the time didn't help build enough muscle to out wrestle his brother Besides drawing Kyle usually hung out with Elliott who stuck by his side no matter what I'll play too Elliott joined It was a smart move He knew a wet willy could have been in his future We all walked to the backyard and the game started like we all knew it would Jenna was it and started chasing me She only chased me My mom said it was because she had a crush on me but that didn't make any sense Sometimes when we played Jenna would chase me for up to an hour around our neighborhood neighborhood while the rest of the kids found something else to do And for that reason tag was horrible I easily dodged her first swipe and sprinted to the back of the house I darted around the brick corner and hid behind a row of prickly red bushes that lined the wall making sure no one else saw where I went I figured I could stay there and rest maybe a minute or two before Jenna spotted me She was slower than syrup
KARATE MOVES 15 Matt Hey Where are you You can't hide that's not fair a voice cried I peeked around the bush and sure enough it was Jenna Only a few minutes into the game and she was already crying What a baby I snickered at the thought There you are Jenna confidently said and through the thorns I could see her skipping toward me I must have made too much noise and given away my location location No time to dawdle There was no way I was going to let Jenna touch me and make this game worse than it already was I pushed off with both feet in the dirt and hurdled over the bush but as soon as I hit the grass my legs tangled I stumbled awkwardly for a minute then fell over I didn't have time to see what I tripped on Jenna was within striking distance now a decision had to be made My
