8 MATT SPROUTS AND THE CURSE OF THE TEN BROKEN TOES misfortune I suffered last year Seriously Take out your notepad sharpen a pencil Get ready to learn I suppose though before I go any further I should introduce introduce myself My name is Matt Sprouts and I'm the Cursed Kid
CHAPTER 1 KARATE MOVES Montrose Colorado that's where I'm from If you are driving past it and blink you might miss it It sits in a valley surrounded by the San Juan Mountains so everywhere you look you see a snowcapped ridge or peak My house has the best view too It's in a neighborhood just outside of town that sits on a hill above the Uncompahgre River Tall aspen trees grow faster than the grass out there and sometimes I forget I live next to anyone It's a perfect place to grow up and I wouldn't trade it for anything anything Well maybe ten fewer broken toes This is where the story begins during the summer before sixth grade June 1 to be exact the day after my eleventh birthday I set my alarm for 7:45 a.m. It gave me just enough time to pour a bowl of peanut butter cluster cereal and snuggle snuggle into our flower-covered green couch This was my alone time My time to watch and study ninjas during morning cartoons and brush up on my martial arts skills
third-grade 10 MATT SPROUTS AND THE CURSE OF THE TEN BROKEN TOES I love ninjas Wait is there a better word than love Whatever it is that's how I feel about ninjas I can tell you all the facts too like how they were amazing warfare experts in ancient Japan or how many weapons they knew how to use I begged my parents to let me train to become a ninja but the closest we could get was karate classes which didn't last long The instructor left town which meant I could only watch TV and practice what I saw from cartoons Of course I never practiced my moves on anyone Once I tried to karate chop Elliott my soon-to-be third-grade brother when he reached for some of my chips during a picnic but Dad caught me Take THAT And THAT I yelled and flung my straight toward Elliott's face hand Before I could even get one hit Dad grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me to the ground If you even think about doing that again Saturday morning cartoons are done Are we clear His finger was so close to my nose that I could smell the oil and dirt from his shop Dad seemed mad that day but I knew exactly what he was trying to say My karate moves were clearly too powerful to use on a person So I decided to keep them to myself most of the time Anyways back to morning cartoons I turned to channel 9 and sat at the edge of the cushions shoving spoonful after spoonful of peanut buttery goodness
KARATE MOVES 11 in my mouth For the next thirty minutes the television owned me I watched ninjas fly across the screen kicking and punching their way through all sorts of dangerous foes I made sure to follow in their footsteps I mimicked every move they made in the center of the living room floor A flying flying kick No problem I climbed to the top of the couch arm and let loose a giant KAPOW as I sliced my leg through the air A crouching spin kick Easy KAPOW
