Willpower

Willpower — page 3 — The van farted another pop then shook as the engine rattled With my luck the engine would die in the middle of the school parking lot Please don’t look Please don’t look I had to I turned my head and eyed the scene on the school basketball court Noah waved the rest of the kids over to the chain-link fence to watch us pulling up to the front of the school With his perfect hair and teeth Noah was the guy everyone looked up to and not just because he was taller than most kids He was the captain of the basketball team head of the debate club the guy who decided if you were cool or a fool I knew where Noah would put me on his list If I could have turned invisible right then I would have The next best thing was to slide down into my seat and try to shrink myself out of the van Instead I pulled my silver dollar out of my jeans pocket Mom had given me this coin for luck before she died She’d told me it was the first thing she 2

Willpower — page 4 — had ever won Rubbing the old coin helped calm my nerves I peeked through the window again Everyone in the schoolyard now watched the slowest and noisiest parade in the world Three cars ahead of us inched to the drop-off point I can get out here I said Dad shook his head School rules I can’t let you off until we get to the drop-off We’re almost there Jennifer Pop Pop Rattle I could hear the laughter even through the crack of the window I rolled it up to shut out the sound Oh great I thought Noah and his pals were never going to let me hear the end of this I imagined the whispers behind my back There goes Jennifer Mah the kid who came to school in the van that yesterday forgot Hey your dad’s car is as old as my grandpa I’ve seen beaters in junkyards 3

Willpower — page 5 — that were newer than your dad’s car I’ve seen dinosaurs that are younger than your car I rubbed the coin so hard I thought I’d scratch the etched date on it right off Jennifer Dad said remember Meet back here at three thirty I’ll be waiting I turned to face my dad The brim of his dirty baseball cap cast a shadow over his tired face His eyes had dark circles under them and his scruffy beard still had the remains of breakfast in it Or was it last night’s dinner I couldn’t tell I checked myself out in the mirror in the sun visor I didn’t look much better My hair was straggly I hadn’t showered in a couple of days and my face was the map of a country I called Zitistan I tried to smooth out my hair with my hand but it felt greasy under my fingers Do you have to pick me up here I asked I could meet you a block over There’s less traffic down there 4

Willpower — page 6 — No he said We have to act normal Pop normal right now Normal We were the furthest thing from Dad how about you pick me up at four Most parents will have picked up their kids and there won’t be anyone around I can hang out in the school library until you show up No he said Be here at three thirty Why I asked You know why Jennifer he said Silence I stared out the window as the van lurched ahead Rattle Pop Finally Dad spoke again I don’t want you to do anything out of the ordinary Don’t bring any attention to yourself Please I wanted to point out that the van was doing a fine job of that But I kept that comment to myself Yes Dad I mumbled 5

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