We realize this picture rendered only in black ink will not help you decide for yourself whether Bob’s cow is blue Sadly we cannot afford to print these books in color Still we hope you enjoyed the illustration That’s a very good-looking cow Yawnee Valley was almost known as The Milky Pearl in America’s Dairy Diadem a motto rejected by the Yawnee Valley Council because only one member knew what a diadem diadem was It’s a crown The town is home to more cows than people which you would know if you lived there which you probably do not because not many people do and cows cannot cannot read books Many billions of people live on Earth and only 9,980 of them live in Yawnee Valley So What are the odds that this little town would be home to not one but two world-class pranksters And what are the chances that two of Earth’s billions of people should meet in Yawnee Valley and discover that they were soul matches boon companions true amigos and best friends What is the probability that this sleepy hamlet should serve even briefly as the stage for one of history’s great pranking pranking duos a pair of notorious practical jokers known as the Terrible Terrible Two 2
We don’t know the answers to these questions Math was never our best subject But the odds are long The chances are slim It seems very unlikely And yet Yawnee Valley is the hometown of Miles Murphy and Niles Sparks Here they are now 3
Wait Sorry That looks wrong You can only see Niles in that picture That is because they are in the middle of a prank Here is a picture from five minutes earlier Much better Here we go 4
Chapter 2 IT WAS SUNDAY It was autumn Miles and Niles wearing very large coats sat side by side near the back of the number three bus The three ran by Niles’s house on Buttercream Buttercream Lane out past a pasture owned by Bob Barkin which is where they were headed Normally they would have just rid den their bikes but today they were carrying a bunch of stuff Beneath their coats between the two of them Miles and Niles had strapped to their bodies Three cans of livestock paint deep purple Three cans of livestock paint neon green One cardboard stencil made from a refrigerator box polka-dot pattern A really long measuring tape Pruning shears Hand tools wrapped in a leather carrying case A Brünte 3030 Hand Reel Push Lawn Mower disassembled
