Epic is the leading digital reading platform—built on a collection of 40,000+ popular, high-quality books from 250+ of the world’s best publishers—that safely fuels curiosity and reading confidence for kids 12 and under.

EPIC

Epic Originals Books Gifts Redeem Gift

FOR EDUCATORS

Epic School Admin Portal Educator Resources School Privacy Promise

ABOUT

About Epic Careers Press Blog

CONTACT US

Help & Support Press Inquiries Publisher Inquiries

EPIC

Epic Originals Books Gifts Redeem Gift

FOR EDUCATORS

Epic School Admin Portal Educator Resources School Privacy Promise

ABOUT

About Epic Careers Press Blog

CONTACT US

Help & Support Press Inquiries Publisher Inquiries

DOWNLOAD EPIC

© Copyright Epic Kids Inc. All rights reserved.

Terms & Conditions

Privacy Policy

If You Were a...

If You Were a Chocolate Mustache

If You Were a Chocolate Mustache

Author: J. Patrick Lewis , Illustrator: Matthew Cordell

Start Reading Preview

In this tasty collection, J. Patrick Lewis displays the breadth and depth of his talent, giving readers of any and every sensibility something to make them laugh out loud. He...

Book Info

Ages: 8-10

Read time: 3-4 hours

AR LEVEL: N/A

LEXILE©: N/A

Ages: 8-10

Read time: 3-4 hours

Similar Books

Eek, You Reek! Poems about Animals That Stink, Stank, Stunk

Eek, You Reek! Poems about Animals That Stink, Stank, Stunk

Holes in My Underwear

Holes in My Underwear

Missile Toe: A Very Confused Christmas

Missile Toe: A Very Confused Christmas

Everything is a Poem

Everything is a Poem

Consider the Lemming

Consider the Lemming

Crazy About Hockey!

Crazy About Hockey!

Star Wars: ABC-3PO

Star Wars: ABC-3PO

Moses Supposed His Toses Are Roses And 7 Other Silly Old Rhymes

Moses Supposed His Toses Are Roses And 7 Other Silly Old Rhymes

A Child's Garden of Verses

A Child's Garden of Verses

A Full Moon is Rising

A Full Moon is Rising

You Might be a Monster (& Other Stories I Made Up)

You Might be a Monster (& Other Stories I Made Up)

Ants 'n' Uncles

Ants 'n' Uncles

Zebra on the Go

Zebra on the Go

Bump in the Night: Frogenstein

Bump in the Night: Frogenstein

Are You the Pirate Captain?

Are You the Pirate Captain?

Bat Wings! Cat Wings?

Bat Wings! Cat Wings?

Does a Bulldozer Have a Butt?

Does a Bulldozer Have a Butt?

Dr. Potts, My Pets Have Spots!

Dr. Potts, My Pets Have Spots!

Creature vs. Teacher: A Book of Rhyme

Creature vs. Teacher: A Book of Rhyme

Ten Creepy Monsters

Ten Creepy Monsters

Peanut Butter & Aliens

Peanut Butter & Aliens

Oopsy, Teacher!

Oopsy, Teacher!

Seagull Sid (and the Naughty Things His Seagulls Did!)

Seagull Sid (and the Naughty Things His Seagulls Did!)

Creepy Cafetorium Book 4: The Flying Pickles Bounce Back

Creepy Cafetorium Book 4: The Flying Pickles Bounce Back

What Makes You Giggle?

What Makes You Giggle?

The Alphabet Thief

The Alphabet Thief

Explore Related & Popular Topics

Poetry | Epic

Poetry

Funny Stories | Epic

Funny Stories

Biographies | Epic

Biographies

Fairy Tales | Epic

Fairy Tales

Mystery | Epic

Mystery

Science | Epic

Science

Parents love Epic!
4.7 stars | 400K+ APP STORE reviews

Popular Books on Epic

Monkey with a Tool Belt

Monkey with a Tool Belt

Ivy + Bean (Book 1)

Ivy + Bean (Book 1)

Scaredy Squirrel Makes a Friend

Scaredy Squirrel Makes a Friend

Big Nate: Beware of Low-Flying Corn Muffins

Big Nate: Beware of Low-Flying Corn Muffins

Diary of a Worm

Diary of a Worm

The Magic School Bus: Lost in the Solar System

The Magic School Bus: Lost in the Solar System

The Last Cuentista

The Last Cuentista

National Geographic Little Kids First Big Book of Dinosaurs

National Geographic Little Kids First Big Book of Dinosaurs

Are You Smarter Than a Shark?

Are You Smarter Than a Shark?

My Day with Gong Gong

My Day with Gong Gong

Brands We Know: Lego

Brands We Know: Lego

Nat Geo Wild Animal Atlas

Nat Geo Wild Animal Atlas

Animal Rescue Friends Book 1: Maddie and Boyd

Animal Rescue Friends Book 1: Maddie and Boyd

Astronaut Training

Astronaut Training

The Bear and the Moon

The Bear and the Moon

Classic Goosebumps #1: Night of the Living Dummy

Classic Goosebumps #1: Night of the Living Dummy

Caillou: I Love You

Caillou: I Love You

Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are

Storytelling Math: Usha and the Big Digger

Storytelling Math: Usha and the Big Digger

Snoopy: First Beagle In Space

Snoopy: First Beagle In Space

I Survived #02: I Survived the Shark Attacks of 1916

I Survived #02: I Survived the Shark Attacks of 1916

Phoebe and Her Unicorn

Phoebe and Her Unicorn

Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy: As the Deer Flies

Laser Moose and Rabbit Boy: As the Deer Flies

Ada Twist, Scientist

Ada Twist, Scientist

Baby-Sitters Little Sister: Karen’s Kittycat Club

Baby-Sitters Little Sister: Karen’s Kittycat Club

Qué llenará la canasta? / What Will Fit?

Qué llenará la canasta? / What Will Fit?

Scribbles and Ink

Scribbles and Ink

Wings of Fire Legends: Darkstalker

Wings of Fire Legends: Darkstalker

Rosie Revere, Engineer

Rosie Revere, Engineer

Cat Ninja Book 1: The Great Hamster Heist

Cat Ninja Book 1: The Great Hamster Heist

All Tucked in on Sesame Street!

All Tucked in on Sesame Street!

Noodleheads Do the Impossible

Noodleheads Do the Impossible

Collections Created By Teachers

Poetry

Poetry

Poetry

By Alyson Light

New Releases

Chocolate

By Shelly Fryer 20-21

Poetry/poems

By Rita Nierling

Poetry

By ABBIE DUGGAN

Chocolate

By Nicole N. Williams

Poetry

WIN assignments

WIN assignments

By Pamela Allen

Supercharge their reading journey.

Epic is the leading digital library for kids 12 & under. Inspire a Lifetime of Reading. Anytime, Anywhere With Access To Our Digital Library.

Books by Age

5

6

7

8

9

10+

10+

Epic reaches 75 million kids in class and after school.

Built on a collection of 40,000+ popular, high-quality books from 250+ of the world’s best publishers, Epic safely fuels curiosity and reading confidence for kids 12 and under.