Aaron shrugged Maybe he said Maybe not But she won't be able to drag me away because I'm too strong He slapped the pillow to the ground with a crack Gerd was still reading the letter Tuesday the second she mumbled The inspection group checks hygiene and routinely counts the children Yours sincerely Tord Fjordmark She swallowed and chewed her bottom lip Then she looked up and saw that a few of us were standing and staring at her Oh well she said pretending to be calm we'll make sure everything's clean by then Including fingernails She gasped Jonna I started when she said my name that way hard and loud It's not usually a good sign Gerd strode crossly over and stood with her sharp chin pointing at me Do you think that sheet will get any cleaner clutched in your grubby little paws eh I looked at my hands I'd forgotten to wash them again The sheet I was holding was really dirty Gerd snatched it from me No wonder it's so
crowded here she ranted waving the sheet No wonder You can all stay here until you're sixty all of you Then I might as well start an old people's home instead It was It didn't occur to her that she'd be as dead as a pickled herring and buried in the ground by the time we kids were sixty I shuddered anyway a terrible thought still being at Renfanan Gerd wasn't really so ghastly but she wasn't a real mother It felt like all of us children were a nuisance to her If someone got the flu or pneumonia it put her in a bad mood because it was extra trouble And if someone hurt their knee and it bled her only worry was about stains on the carpets A real mother would feel sorry for their child but Gerd only felt sorry for herself That was the difference She turned to me You've been here for nine years now Haven't you learned to wash your hands before you pick things up I felt my cheeks flame Some of the others giggled as they always did when Gerd scolded me which was
often I could never remember to wash my hands It's not as if I wanted to be dirty It just went out of my head however much Gerd nagged Maybe my brain just wasn't made to think about soap Maybe it was made to think about other things but it hardly ever had the chance it had to keep defending itself against all the soap thoughts that Gerd forced on it Sometimes I even thought that all this washing was a little unnecessary As far as I could tell you could stand at the basin and scrub yourself for several years but when you finally stopped you'd soon be dirty again But I never dared say that to Gerd She always said it was an irony of fate that she had a grubby pig like me on her hands Not that I knew what that meant but I knew it wasn't good Well she said now Are you too stupid to remember a simple thing like washing your hands I looked away I didn't want to answer Gerd put a hand to her ear What Are you a bit stupider than all the others Jonna
Now everyone was looking at us No I whispered Hello cried Gerd as if she was deaf I can't hear what you're saying Please answer loud and clear so everyone can hear Are you stupid No Alright then Go and wash your hands She turned and raised her voice The rest of us will pack everything up There's no point standing here and flapping all day if you still rub dirt on everything Some kids started gathering up sheets and pillows ready to go inside Then we heard a low brmming through the fir trees A car was on its way All the children put their heads up like hunting dogs catching a scent Take it easy now cried Gerd but no one listened Every time a car came to the orphanage it was mobbed by children Everyone shoved and elbowed each other to get to the front and show themselves to try to get out of there Oh how we longed to leave We longed
