Not For Sale

Not For Sale — page 3 — the leftover ammo from a potato-gun battle between my brother Rudy and me Rudy’s eight and I’m nine A potato gun looks like a water pistol but instead of water you fill it with potato First you find a big potato in the stinky kitchen drawer Then you shove the gun’s short barrel in past the peel to load it with potato flesh A potato pellet is shaped like a pencil eraser only it’s crunchy and white not rubbery and pink It doesn’t exactly hurt when you get shot with a potato pellet but it can sting Sometimes if Mom’s out of potatoes Rudy and I battle with apples Once when Mom was at work we tried a banana It was disgusting Banana pellets don’t sting they just mush and dribble Eventually Rudy and I tire of shooting each other with bits of spud We get distracted by the tv or lego Or by Wigglechin our cat who is old and often clinging to things she’s trying not to fall from Like the living room curtains or the dining-room chandelier 2

Not For Sale — page 4

Not For Sale — page 5 — We drop our guns and leave our hole-pocked potatoes to fester where they fall A month or two later Mom discovers one and shakes it at us I sure wish I wasn’t so frightened of a withered potato 4

Not For Sale — page 6 — Chapter Two Rudy is not my brother’s full name I’m not allowed to say his full name because it upsets him But sometimes late at night I crawl deep under my covers and say it very softly Just to hear it out loud You can probably figure out what it is Think what Rudy might be short for Want a clue Red-nosed reindeer Got it But why would my mother pick a name that no one is allowed to say Mom says when Rudy was born he came out howling like a wolf Guess what R___ means Brave wolf So even though a magical Christmas reindeer 5

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