Mother and Daughter

Mother and Daughter — page 3 — 1 SOMEONELIKE ME I was fifteen when I first realised that my family was Aboriginal Until then I had believed Iwas Indian for that waswhat mymotherand Nan mygrandmother hadalways said Iwas the eldest offive children My father died when I was nine years old and my mother wasleft to bring us up Nan my grandmother lived with us as well Helen my youngest sister wasonlyeighteen monthswhen myfather died Myother sister wasJill and Ihad twobrothers David and Billy Our home wasa rented house in a working-classsuburb ofPerth We hada warm Iovlng family allveryclose toone another I shall never forget the day I came home rom school to find Nan sitting at the kitchen table crying I froze in the doorway I'd never seen her cry before Nan what's wrong I asked She liftedup one armandthumped her clenchedfist hard on the table You kids don't want me you want a white grandmother I'm black Do you hear black black black With that she pushed back her chair and hurried to her room I never did find out what had upset her so I think it II

Mother and Daughter — page 4 — wasall todo with us growing upand not being little kids any longer I remember how I continued to stand in the doorway I could feel the strap ofmy heavyschool-bag cutting into my shoulder but 1was too stunned to remove it For the first time in my fifteen years I was conscious of Nan's colouring She was right she wasn't white Well I thought logically ifshe wasn't white then neither were we what did that make us what did that make me I had never thought of myself as being black before Iwas veryexcited bymy new heritage and ever since that day I had been trying to find out more about our family My mother wouldn't openly admit the fact that we were part Aboriginal until I was at University and then the truth slipped out by accident in the middle of a conversation one day Since then she'd become as eager as I was to find out about our people After I married I still saw my family nearly every day Therewere such strong bonds between us it was impossible to see them Just as well Paul my for me not to want husband was the uncomplaining sort Though in fact he fitted into our familyvery well I had married Paul Morgan in 1971 whileIwasat University Paulwasa teacher He had spent his childhood in the north-west of Western Australia his parents were missionaries When he was thirteen they had moved to Perth to start a hostel for mission children who came to the city to attend high school At that time Paul spoke only pidgin English he'd had a hard time adjusting to his new life at first We now had three children Our daughter Ambelin was born in 1975 and we had two sons Blaze born in 1977 and Zeke born five years later In 1979 I had decided to write a book about our family history My mother was very willing to help me but my grandmother hadalways been very secretiveabout her past She absolutely refused to talk about it I knew I couldn't expect any help from her I had already recorded the remi niscences ofNan's brother myCreat-uncleArthur Corunna He completed his story just before he died I knew that he 12

Mother and Daughter — page 5 — had a premonition he was about to go fie said at the end of his story To liveto ninety that's an achievement Now my life is nearlyover I'm lookin forward to heaven I lookback on my life and think how lucky I am J got Daisy's grand daughter Daisy was my grandmother's name writing my story It should be someone in the family It's fittin I want everyone to read it Arthur Corunna's story You see it's important because then maybe they'll understand howhard it's been for the blackfella to live the way he wants I'm part of history that's how I look on it It was a wonderful story and it made Mum and me determined to continue to find out as much as we could about the family In 1982 when Zeke was only six weeks old Mum Paul and I and our children set off to visit Corunna Downs Nan and Arthur's birthplace They had both been taken away from their people when they were children and placed in a mission Back in the early years of this century that was what happened to hundreds of half-caste children Neither Arthurnor itseems Daisyever sawtheirAboriginalmother Annie Padewani again Nan was not really sure who her white fatherwas though Arthur was positive shewas his full sister and that they both had the same father Howden Drake-Brockman the owner of Corunna Downs Station at that time Later Howden had married a white woman and Nan became nursemaid to his daughter Judy There were stillquite close links between the Drake-Brockmansandour family Nan and Judy were always friends and I had asked Aunty Judy what she could tell me about the old days But Howden had sold Corunna Downs when she was still quite small and the family together with Nan had moved toa big house called Ivanhoe at Claremont on the banks of the Swan River So Judy Drake-Brockman was not able to tell me very much My mother did not really know who her father was either Nan had always refused to discuss the matter with her Mum believed he may have been an Englishman Jack Grime who wasa close friend ofHowden Drake-Brockman 13

Mother and Daughter — page 6 — and lived at Ivanhoe During our visit to Corunna we had discovered which tribal groups we belonged to My mother Gladys was Panaka I was Burungu and Paul was Malinga What had begun as a tentative search for knowledge grew into a spiritualand emotionalpilgrimage We nowhadan Aborigi nal consciousness and were proud of it By the time we left we had so much to think about and much tocome to terms with And as a result of what we had learned we had more insight into Nan's bitterness her refusal to talk about the past More than anything we wanted her to change to be proud of what she was We had seen so much of her and ourselvesin the wonderful peoplewe'd met We belonged to our Aboriginal heritage now We had found our place Whenwearrived backin Perth Nan was reallypleased tosee us andsowas Beryl a friendofMum'swho had been looking after her Nan hadgone through allthe moneyMum hadleft her and had had Berylon the go non-stop running up to the shop for chocolate biscuits and putting bets on the TAB We rounded up the rest of the family the following day and insisted on showing the video we had made of our trip To our dismay the film turned out to be prettymediocre It sufferedfrom thefaults common to most home movies lack of focus zooming too quickly and panning too slowly Throughout the filming ofCorunna Iwatched Nan She was taking a keen interest in the old buildings There's the old date palm she said That used to be the garden down there That's the old homestead that part over there that's where they had the kitchen When it was all over she said Fancy all those old buildings still being there I didn't think there'd be anything left Mum told Nan what all the old boys had said about Lily her and Arthur's full-blood half-sister We had learned what a wonderful woman she had been how caring towards the old people Nan smiled Ooh yes she chuckled that was Lily all right She was the sort of person you couldn't help liking she hada good heart did Lily Iwas amazed Nan had 14

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