great singer but she had trouble with being too loud sometimes I did too I’m not sure the glue would taste very good Miss Flores said She was the teacher for Room 113 and my favorite teacher ever Great ideas class Let’s break for silent reading Find your favorite spot Most of the class raced for the reading loft I (cid:68)(cid:79)(cid:80)(cid:82)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:68)(cid:79)(cid:90)(cid:68)(cid:92)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:74)(cid:82)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:75)(cid:72)(cid:85)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:85)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:48)(cid:82)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:79)(cid:92)(cid:3)(cid:44)(cid:3)(cid:79)(cid:82)(cid:89)(cid:72)(cid:71)(cid:3)(cid:69)(cid:72)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:3) in third grade but sometimes it wasn’t so much fun because Miss Flores made us read so much As in every single day I am not even joking Reading is tough because I have dyslexia which means I read words backward and mix up letters Sometimes my eyes get so tired I have to prop them open with toothpicks Well not really but you get the picture Because reading is so hard I couldn’t concentrate very well I opened my book but the words were fuzzy on the page So instead I started thinking about the problem of our new computer lab teacher Mr Benton He was what the school principal Mrs Holmes called a long-term sub for Mrs Joseph Last week Mrs Joseph left to be on 8
something called maternity on account of having two babies at the same time Mr Benton had a big hairy beard on his face and eyebrows so thick they looked like one long fuzzy caterpillar He never smiled He called the cafeteria the chow hall and he yelled Drop and give me 20 every time he caught someone doing note passing He always forgot everybody’s name too Instead he called us Roger this and Roger that and the funny thing was we didn’t even have a Roger in the whole school Who knew where he got these things
I was pretty sure Mr Benton was an undercover space alien sent to Earth to experiment on the brains of students Or maybe back on his space ship he had a hungry alien pet named Froodle who only snacked on third graders Froodle had twelve spider legs a body like a fat slimy frog and a purple poodle head Don’t ask me how I knew this The rest of the Gumshoe Gang didn’t share my suspicions In fact Lyra laughed at me so hard milk shot out of her nose And not in the I-can’t believe-how-funny-you-are kind of way They didn’t believe me that totally weird equals possible alien invader But I knew better 10
Chapter 2 A Spy at School The real trouble started that afternoon Outside (cid:76)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:90)(cid:68)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:70)(cid:79)(cid:82)(cid:88)(cid:71)(cid:92)(cid:3)(cid:68)(cid:81)(cid:71)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:81)(cid:82)(cid:90)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:74)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:58)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:75)(cid:68)(cid:71)(cid:3)(cid:77)(cid:88)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:81)(cid:76)(cid:86)(cid:75)(cid:72)(cid:71)(cid:3) lunch in the cafeteria For me it was the usual rice (cid:90)(cid:76)(cid:87)(cid:75)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:82)(cid:80)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:88)(cid:79)(cid:68)(cid:80)(cid:178)(cid:79)(cid:68)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:81)(cid:76)(cid:74)(cid:75)(cid:87)(cid:182)(cid:86)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:86)(cid:75)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:72)(cid:90)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:3) On Tuesdays and Thursdays we have computer lab upstairs All the kids were piling (cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:87)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:75)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:70)(cid:79)(cid:68)(cid:86)(cid:86)(cid:85)(cid:82)(cid:82)(cid:80)(cid:17)(cid:3)(cid:44)(cid:3)(cid:80)(cid:68)(cid:71)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:88)(cid:85)(cid:72)(cid:3)(cid:87)(cid:82)(cid:3)(cid:74)(cid:72)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:76)(cid:81)(cid:3)(cid:191)(cid:85)(cid:86)(cid:87)(cid:3)(cid:86)(cid:82)(cid:3) I could shoot my friends with mega-asteroids while shouting Your planet is doomed One of my crumpled wads of paper bounced right off of Carys Johnson’s head and rolled under the long row of computer tables Ronald you stop that right now Carys was the only person who called me Ronald Even Mrs Holmes agreed Rocket was a better name It was so annoying I decided to do a double strike on her On account of being fresh out of mega-asteroids 11
