Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior

Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior — page 7 — Of course Max just made it up I know that But a few little kids totally fell for it While those kids were playing in the street Max hid behind a nearby house Then he made the sound a poo screamer supposedly makes Graagraaagggurrrrgggggg ftttttt It terrified some of those kids From what I heard they wouldn’t go near a bathroom for days after They didn’t want the poo screamer to get them Yeah Welcome to my life Irritating mobs Greedy librarians And Max 6

Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior — page 8 — FRIDAY Last night I had a crazy dream Our village had warriors and I was one of them I looked endermen straight in the eye I deflected skeleton arrows with my bare hands I mowed down zombies like a farmer harvesting beetroots Finally I punched a creeper so hard it bounced off the ground and flew up into the sun where it exploded making the sun brighter The brighter sun burned up the rest of the skeletons and zombies Yeah That’s the kind of warrior I want to be But that was just a dream The reality is school is starting on Monday and I just turned twelve 7

Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior — page 9 — Twelve That’s the age when villagers stop being kids and learn a profession A lot of other kids are into subjects like farming crafting and building but combat is my favorite subject I just wish our school had a few combat classes I don’t want to be a blacksmith or a butcher Maybe a priest Or maybe I can just run away and be like Steve No how could I run away I love my mom too much My dad’s pretty cool too Of course he wants me to become a farmer like him It’s hard being a farmer by the way People can just walk up and steal your crops That happened today Some weird guy came into our village and started taking our carrots My dad tried to stop him and the guy hit my dad with his stone pickaxe I was really angry But the iron golem nearby was way angrier The golem punched that guy so hard he dropped his pickaxe and ran away I sold that pickaxe to a blacksmith for three emeralds I guess I’m learning huh 8

Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior — page 10 — SATURDAY The mobs attacked again last night Why would anyone want to attack such a beautiful place As you can see our village is huge It’s one of the biggest in Minecraftia It also has walls that keep most of the slimes and zombies out Now some of you reading this diary might be thinking Wait Villages don’t have walls 9

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