Merci Suárez Can't Dance

Merci Suárez Can't Dance — page 7 — CHAPTER 2 HEY WHERE Y'AT WILSON SAYS That's hello He doesn't know but I kind of like how he talks He puts no r's on the ends of words which makes him sound like Mr. Finley who's from Boston and teaches American history Cah Bah Fah instead of car bar far Wilson isn't from Massachusetts though He's from New Orleans which is hot and steamy just like here in South Florida He says it's not evah pronounced New Or-leenz Or-leenz If you say it that way he corrects you even if you're Miss McDaniels I've heard him do it with my own ears I'll be honest At first I wasn't crazy about working with a seventh-grade seventh-grade boy in close quarters especially because of their annoying jokes about farting and body parts In sixth grade most of the boys were relatively normal but not anymore Now the lunch menu can't list chicken breast sandwiches without them elbowing one another and convulsing Some of them punch other boys in the privates to be funny like that guy on YouTube Michael Clark went down like a tree and had to go to the nurse when Jason Aldrich got him after hiding under his desk And God forbid if one of the boys likes you He'll spend a whole class saying obnoxious things so that you'll look at him even if it's with murder in your eyes More than one girl has had to tell the teacher or scream I hate you to get them to stop It's so confusing I mean if you want someone to like you shouldn't you act nice But no They act so badly that the kids they have crushes on dream of beating them to death with a shovel Wilson it turns out is not like that at all and this job is not the worst thing that could happen to a person His top qualifications so far He doesn't make mean comments about my lazy eye and then complain that I can't take a joke He doesn't copy off my tests in earth science and take credit for 8

Merci Suárez Can't Dance — page 8 — smart answers He doesn't hog the basketball in PE so he can make the shot himself Plus he's basically a human calculator which is good when you're trying to revamp a total disaster of a business like we are He hangs his backpack on the hook behind the door and looks around for a place to sit We only have room for a table and two chairs in here and today it's even more cramped than usual I look up from the poster I'm making on the floor Careful You're going to stomp me I tell him His shoes are badly scuffed especially his right one the one that's wider on account of the brace he wears to keep his toes from dragging down The soles are caked with wet grass too a telltale sign that he didn't stay on the walkways like we're supposed to as per the gazillion signs about keeping our campus beautiful That's a level one offense in Miss McDaniels's book And I would know since I'm more or less a regular on walkway infractions Wipe those off if you know what's good for you I say I got hassled again just yesterday Miss McDaniels saw me run across the grass because I was late for English Wilson pays me no mind What's all this He fishes out his sandwich and offers me half Ham and cheese same as every day and his mom uses full fat máyo nay is so I'm in heaven At least it's better than Mami's healthy turkey breast with alfalfa sprouts for fun which she says are nutrient dense I looked it up and found out sprouts are full of vitamin K which helps your blood clot Useful in case I'm stabbed I guess I'm making room for new stock of course I tell him taking a swig from my water bottle We have to unload those dumb erasers before the new inventory gets here So we're having a winter clearance sale We've been waiting weeks for the bobbleheads we ordered Hunky Jake Rodrigo hero of the gene spliced universe bobbleheads It's a million-dollar million-dollar idea No one will be able to resist them We are huh he asks Did we have a meeting to decide that Let me think NO I push the hair off my face and roll my eyes He's such a stickler about things We didn't need a meeting We needed action So I took it I cap my marker and hold up the sign Fix your mistakes in style Two for one erasers Wile supplies last What do you think I ask 9

Merci Suárez Can't Dance — page 9 — I think you spelled while wrong I thought you were good at English I look at it and grimace Then I add a few words and hold the sign up again How's this Fix your mistakes in style Two for one erasers Wile supplies last See An eraser would have helped Wilson grins and crosses his arms Erasers don't work on marker You're nitpicking again I say But I don't mind when he teases sometimes I let my tongue roll around on mah kah just the way he says it And have you run the numbers on this so called sale that I didn't co-sign co-sign for What if we lose money at that price woadie That's another of his New Orleans words I like It means we're friends Stopwatch will get cheesed you know I will get cheesed about what exactly Wilson aside from those grassy shoes that have created a mess along the hall Miss McDaniels stands at the door with our custodian Mr. Vong in tow He's pushing a hand truck stacked with a pile of cartons that's taller than he is He glances around it and gives Wilson a steely look Thank you Mr. Vong Miss McDaniels says I believe the students and I can manage from here Then she folds her hands and turns to us again as Mr. Vong unloads You were saying Wilson Wilson goes mute of course a common side effect of encounters with Miss McDaniels especially since his footwear is about to earn him some time just like I warned When we both stand up he takes the merest step behind me Luckily I've had plenty of practice with Miss McDaniels so I can save him from his sorry mess this time I go right to what I learned in the Sound Management Principles chapter from Peterson's Guide to Building Your Business sixth edition which I've been reading at night Oh hello miss I say Wilson and I were just talking about how to make things tidier in here Clutter makes us seem very unprofessional Oh She glances around at our mess I'm sorry to say this miss but those snowflake erasers that you ordered aren't selling and we're coming up on February already Luckily I have a plan to fix the loss and clear some space in here We Wilson says peeking out from behind me We have a plan 10

Merci Suárez Can't Dance — page 10 — I try not to roll my eyes OK We She looks over her glasses at us waiting so I hold up my sign Ta-da A clearance sale What do you think She reads the words and arches her brow You've worked out the finances I hope Wilson squeezes my elbow in an I told you so move Yes miss They're right here I crouch back on the floor to riffle through the scratch papers where I've done all my figuring Numbers are scrawled all over the place because sometimes it takes me a few minutes to work something out It's not automatic like it is for Wilson or my brother Roli I'm never sure at first how to solve a problem Do I add subtract divide or what I find the paper and squint at my own horrible writing The way I see it we bought two thousand erasers for only a dime a piece which is a two hundred dollar investment If we sell them two for a quarter we'll be selling them at at I hold the paper close trying to read my messy handwriting Wilson sighs and steps in to help Twelve point five cents per eraser That's two point five cents profit per eraser Which if you multiply gives you two hundred fifty dollars or specifically a fifty dollar profit Um right I say She looks from Wilson to me Impressive she says at last Then she gives a quick nod Very well I'll allow it In Miss McDaniels speak that means What a genius idea I beam a smile at Wilson This joins my other successful suggestions the emoji stress balls in time for exam week which everyone liked squeezing to make the emoji's eyes bulge to the size of eggs and the secret spy decoder pens that sold out in only two days thanks to the fifth graders who liked the disappearing ink Miss McDaniels turns to me and hands over a fat roll of red tickets We have other more pressing matters to discuss anyway I look at the roll What's this miss I ask The ticket roll for the Heart Ball of course Valentine's Day will be here in a few weeks I need you to sell the dance tickets here at the Ram Depot during lunch hours starting next week My stomach sinks I hate the Heart Ball At Seaward Pines each grade has a special assignment to build teamwork and class spirit Sixth graders run the games for the carnival night Eighth graders go on an annual class trip to Saint Augustine But what do we seventh graders do We're in 11

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